Have you ever been in a dispute that has gotten out of hand? Perhaps you been in a dispute that got so heated that it became a “matter of principle” and the original reason for the dispute has been cast aside.  This is a phenomenon in conflict that we practitioners see all the time.  It is when conflicts get out of hand and escalates into something bigger then what was intended by each party. These escalations make the dispute harder to resolve, and trap the parties into ridged positions ...

Here is a simple technique that can make a world of difference in your everyday relationships and interactions. When you find yourself in a conflict, argument, or disagreement, make sure that you focus on the other party’s behaviors and try not to make assumptions about their intent, motives, or reasoning. When we focus on the other’s intent and motives, the other party will bring up a wall that we will need to bring down in order to find a resolution. When we do this, our disagreement qu...

We solve problems and make decisions everyday in our lives. Some problems and decisions are very mundane and insignificant, while others can be monumental and life changing. Solving problems and making good decisions is crucial in our lives. Our decisions and problem solving abilities are affected by a lot of factors that we encounter. Our position and situation in life along with time, and stress can play a large role in our outcomes. As a mediator and conflict coach, I have seen many client...

As a mediator, forgiveness is an important concept.  Many of times disputes will become grid locked until forgiveness is used by one of the parties.  Therefore I have a strong interest in the concept of forgiveness and how it works and develops within conflict situations. What I have found from my experience is that some people tend to have a natural inclination towards forgiveness. Why shapes that natural inclination can be factors like culture, gender, sex, family, economics to name a few. ...

Mediation is one of the most effective ways to resolve your disputes and conflicts. It can save parties a lot of money, energy and time.  However, many people have never been involved in mediation and do not know what to expect and therefore come unprepared to take advantage of all the mediation has to offer. From my experience as a mediator, the more prepared the parties are, the stronger the resolution will be. Preparing for mediation is not something that takes a lot of time and strat...

For many, mediation is an unknown process. Many do not understand what it is and most importantly, how it may help them resolve disputes effectively and with little costs. Therefore there are many myths, and assumptions as to mediation’s benefits and process. This article will take a look at 5 general myths that many have regarding mediation.

Myth # 1: A mediator is like going to court.

Mediation is a confidential process in which you and the other party sit down with a trained mediato...

Perhaps you have been in this situation before: You are in a disagreement, or argument and neither you nor the other person seems close to coming to a resolution. It seems that your ideas, proposed solutions, and positions are miles apart. So you and the other party are frustrated, and forced to expend resources and energy to maintain the stalemate.  Perhaps what is keeping you from a solution lies in your own position of how the conflict should be resolved.

 For many, getting to a resolutio...

“Never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their moccasins.”

-          Native American proverb.

How much better would we be if we took the time to look at the world through the eyes of another?  How many arguments and conflicts would we have avoided in our lives if we just looked at life through another’s view point? Empathy is a great tool that can allow us to look at life through another’s per...

We all have heard the saying "actions speak louder then words," yet what is it that the action is saying to us? Do they tell us anything about another's motives, and intentions? Unfortunately observing another's actions alone does very little to tell us anything about the other's internal motives. Thus we are left to interpret the action within a context of our history, and relationship with that person. No matter how we...