Have you ever been in a dispute that has gotten out of hand? Perhaps you been in a dispute that got so heated that it became a “matter of principle” and the original reason for the dispute has been cast aside.  This is a phenomenon in conflict that we practitioners see all the time.  It is when conflicts get out of hand and escalates into something bigger then what was intended by each party. These escalations make the dispute harder to resolve, and trap the parties into ridged positions ...

Here is a simple technique that can make a world of difference in your everyday relationships and interactions. When you find yourself in a conflict, argument, or disagreement, make sure that you focus on the other party’s behaviors and try not to make assumptions about their intent, motives, or reasoning. When we focus on the other’s intent and motives, the other party will bring up a wall that we will need to bring down in order to find a resolution. When we do this, our disagreement qu...

We solve problems and make decisions everyday in our lives. Some problems and decisions are very mundane and insignificant, while others can be monumental and life changing. Solving problems and making good decisions is crucial in our lives. Our decisions and problem solving abilities are affected by a lot of factors that we encounter. Our position and situation in life along with time, and stress can play a large role in our outcomes. As a mediator and conflict coach, I have seen many client...

Perhaps you have been in this situation before: You are in a disagreement, or argument and neither you nor the other person seems close to coming to a resolution. It seems that your ideas, proposed solutions, and positions are miles apart. So you and the other party are frustrated, and forced to expend resources and energy to maintain the stalemate.  Perhaps what is keeping you from a solution lies in your own position of how the conflict should be resolved.

 For many, getting to a resolutio...

“Never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their moccasins.”

-          Native American proverb.

How much better would we be if we took the time to look at the world through the eyes of another?  How many arguments and conflicts would we have avoided in our lives if we just looked at life through another’s view point? Empathy is a great tool that can allow us to look at life through another’s per...

We all have heard the saying "actions speak louder then words," yet what is it that the action is saying to us? Do they tell us anything about another's motives, and intentions? Unfortunately observing another's actions alone does very little to tell us anything about the other's internal motives. Thus we are left to interpret the action within a context of our history, and relationship with that person. No matter how we...